By The Grace of God
by EmileneWilde
Summary: Emily dealing with some issues and Derek finding her. One-shot. Enjoy


**Ok, I have had a bad case of writers block lately, but after putting my iPhone music on shuffle, I can across a song that I felt really described Emily. In this situation, it is similar to the plot of my story Broken, except for one twist. So, this is basically a story about her dealing with guilt and decided whether or not to...well, I will tell you at the end, ok? Hey! How do you keep awesome people in suspense? I'll tell you in my next story! ? Love you all!?**

 _Was 27 surviving my return to Saturn_

 _A long vacation didn't sound so bad_

Emily runs through her apartment, resisting the urge to scream for help. What was the point anymore? He took everything from her. Another day not getting saved was nothing.

 _Was full of secrets locked up tight like iron melting_

 _Running on empty, so out of gas_

She doesn't care anymore. There is nothing left for her to hold on to. She puts her back to the wall and takes the beating. She doesn't give him the satisfaction of her pained grunts, her cries...not anymore.

 _Thought I wasn't enough_

 _And I wasn't so tough_

 _Laying on the bathroom floor_

One final thought, so close to death, gives her enough strength to pull the trigger. With a strangled sob, she falls to her knees. She had shot people before...but, there was something different this time. It hurt.

 _We were living on a fault line_

 _And I felt the fault was all mine_

 _Couldn't take it anymore_

As she watched him fall, she groped for her phone. She was on autopilot. She didn't want to call anyone, but before she knew it, she was dialing Morgan's phone. "Derek." She says breathlessly, tears creeping into her voice. "I killed him." She says, sobbing uncontrollably. Her voice was trembling, and she didn't know what to do anymore.

 _By the grace of God_

 _I picked myself back up_

 _I put one foot in front of the other_

 _And I looked in the mirror_

 _And decided to stay_

 _Wasn't gonna let love take me out_

 _That way_

Emily curled into herself, the brave shell she'd created for herself falling apart. Every defense she had ever built disappeared. More than she realized, she wanted to die. She wiped the tears from her eyes, and tried to slowly build the same walls back up.

 _I thank my sister for keeping my head above the water_

 _When the truth was like swallowing sand_

She screamed in frustration. He always played a different song...but this one was too much for her. "Em?" Derek called for her, but she didn't answer. She grabbed a key from the nightstand that she had so conveniently located, and with trembling hands, let it cut into her wrist.

 _Now every morning, there is no more mourning_

 _I can finally see myself again_

She shuts her eyes as she deepens the cut. It hurt so bad, but it wouldn't hurt for much longer. Did he kick the door down? Just as she begins on the other wrist, the key is ripped from her hands. "Emily!" Derek yells, snapping her from her terrified trance. He stopped her.

 _I know I am enough_

 _Possible to be loved_

 _It was not about me_

As he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her in, the initial shock had worn off, and she realized how stupid she was. She had almost killed herself, but he stopped her...She felt him press his lips to the top of her head, and found herself shutting her eyes, finally feeling like she was safe.

 _Now I have to rise above_

 _Let the universe call the bluff_

 _The truth will set you free_

She was bordering sleep now. The feeling of safety combined with the injuries both she and Raiden inflicted all over her body, gave her the urge to just sleep. But she couldn't. She knew she couldn't, not if she wanted to.

 _By the grace of God_

 _I picked myself back up_

Emily opens her eyes, lifting her head to meet his eye. "Derek." She whispers, her voice hoarse from crying, her eyes begging him to help her. There is so much he doesn't know...but she doesn't know how to tell him.

 _I put on foot in front of the other_

 _And looked in the mirror_

 _And decided to stay_

"I'm pregnant." She whispers. Silence. "Do you hate me?" She whimpers. He can't help but feel sympathy for her. The strong, beautiful, stubborn, woman he had grown to love, gone. And he can't do anything about it. He doesn't reply to her, he just picks her up, bridal style, and carries her out of the building.

"I don't hate you, Princess." He whispers. "I think I might just be in love with you," he says, as her eyes widen, then soften. "Let's get you to a hospital." And with that, they left.

 _Wasn't gonna let love take me out that way._

 **So, what did you think? Did it make you fall in love with them all over again? Did it make you hate Raiden more than you did in the beginning? I hope you enjoyed it, and that you'll check out my other stories. A special thanks to Lexie4MP, emeraldxx, and Frenzy cmfan for reviewing all of my stories, and for giving me the encouragement I needed to keep writing. I love you all. ? and I'm not gonna let you forget it.**


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